Trying to Capture the Essence of 缘分 (Yuánfèn)
When I'm not on the road and am home in Hong Kong, my day begins with a morning hike up Victoria Peak. This ritual of connecting with nature while connecting with a rotation of dear friends before settling into my desk work has become an essential part of my daily routine.
On our way up, we regularly pass several octogenarians who move with remarkable vigor, maintaining an admirable pace up the steep incline. They traverse the challenging terrain with a steadiness that defies conventional notions about aging. Our exchange of '早晨' (zou san) in Cantonese, accompanied by genuine eye contact and a big smile, brings inexplicable warmth to my mornings and to my heart, for that matter.
These remarkable individuals have become my role models. Their consistent commitment to physical health at their age serves as a powerful wake-up call for me. I think to myself: if they can maintain such a pace in their eighties, what excuse do I have? This reflection hits particularly close to home, as I have prioritized my writing and academic pursuits over physical wellness in the last several years. As I watch them steadily climb each morning, I feel a touch of embarrassment. Having spent years as a fitness instructor in my 20s, 30s, and 40s, I knew better than most the vital importance of maintaining physical health!
My tunnel vision consumed me completely and I immersed myself in research and manuscripts. My health took a back seat - a trade-off that seemed reasonable at the time. Watching these elderly hikers tackle the Peak with such consistency, speed, and strength has inspired me to re-establish my relationship with my own personal physical health.
Along the same path, there's a Chinese flautist whose melodies literally stop me in my tracks every single time. Those who follow my Instagram might have seen my stories featuring his beautiful Chinese musical pieces. Despite the language barrier between us - my limited Mandarin meeting his dialect from Ningbo, Zhejiang - we share meaningful conversations through gestures, smiles, and music, and somehow just understand each other's messages. We’ve been greeting and connecting on this level for years.
I can only describe my connections with these strangers as 缘分 (yuánfèn).
The Chinese concept of 缘分 (yuánfèn) breaks down into two essential characters: 缘 (yuán), representing the cosmic cause that brings people together, and 分 (fèn), signifying the predetermined nature of how these relationships unfold. Unlike the Western notion of chance encounters, yuánfèn suggests that these connections are written in the stars yet require our active participation to fulfill their potential.
While karma focuses on the cause-and-effect relationship between our actions and their consequences, yuánfèn specifically addresses the mysterious forces that draw souls together. It's as if our past lives, present choices, and future destinies intersect to create these meaningful encounters. Some connections might be 有缘有分 (yǒu yuán yǒu fèn) - destined to develop into profound relationships, as my mother always used to say, while others might be 有缘无分 (yǒu yuán wú fèn) - meant to touch our lives briefly but significantly.
Understanding yuánfèn has fundamentally shifted how I view both success and disappointment in relationships. When a promising connection doesn't flourish despite perfect circumstances, perhaps it's 有缘无分 - we were meant to meet but not meant to stay. This perspective offers a gentler way to process relationships that don't work out, acknowledging that not every meaningful encounter is destined for permanence. My husband always says that we encounter three types of relationships in life: relationships that last for a reason, season, or a lifetime.
I think about my re-connection with my dear friend Haihao and his family. This is yuánfèn (缘分) at work - those meaningful coincidences that Chinese believe are far more than mere chance. Our paths crossed again when we both realised how many common interests we shared. Similarly, my connection with the flautist reveals how yuánfèn operates beyond language and cultural barriers, creating bonds that seem to draw from a deeper well of understanding. These seemingly random encounters - with the flautist, with the octogenarian hikers – are gentle reminders about what truly matters in life. Perhaps this too is yuánfèn: the universe's way of orchestrating encounters that guide us back to forgotten wisdom and human connections.
In professional contexts, yuánfèn enriches our approach to building connections. Beyond LinkedIn's structured networking, embracing yuánfèn allows us to recognize and nurture those special professional relationships that form through serendipitous encounters. When we remain open to these meaningful connections that arise naturally, we create space for collaborations built on authentic resonance and shared purpose, often yielding our most innovative and fulfilling work partnerships.
The mentor who appears at exactly the right moment in your career exemplifies this beautifully—for me, this was Dr. Lynn Erickson. She entered my life just before my father passed away, assuming the role of mentor. The baton of guidance transferred seamlessly, as if all the stars aligned during that pivotal stage in my life. Similarly, the past student who evolves into a lifelong friend—these connections often carry the unmistakable signature of yuánfèn.
The concept also adds depth to our understanding of personal growth. Rather than viewing self-development as a solely individual journey, yuánfèn suggests that our growth is deeply connected to the people we're destined to meet. Yuánfèn enriches our understanding of personal growth by highlighting the role of destiny and meaningful relationships in shaping our lives and fostering transformation.
Ultimately, there is no single English word that can directly translate the nuanced meaning of 缘分, but I hope these reflections have brought you closer to understanding this profound concept.
Beautifully written!